How the Porcupine Came to Be

Well, it all started when I had to live a life of garbage skin. Spots, eczema, dry, oily, you name it, my skin will inflict it. And my lips? Dry, all the time. I chug water, eat avocado, try to be good… but then cider and chips appear and ruin everything, and I wake up the next morning feeling like this:

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After many years of trying EVERY DAMN THING, from Poundshop to Dermalogica, I was pissed. And reading the ingredients list of those things, a lot of them were, well, disgusting. I come from a family of scientists, I’m not just some hippy saying that ingredients are evil because I ‘can’t pronounce them’ and don’t understand them.

I understand them, and I understand that chucking a load of petrochemical byproducts and sensitising preservatives on my face is a fucking poor life choice. Doing that and then wondering why my skin seems so angry, seems like pure foolishness.

So I decided to take my face into my own hands.

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But really, I had bad eczema. It was driving me all kinds of mad. The only ‘natural’ products were prohibitively expensive for a dole-dweller like myself. And the stuff I got free on prescription was worse than useless. So I decided to knock something together myself, using what was around. I have a MacGyver streak like that. (Luckily I happened to have coconut oil just lying around, because Indian and overinvested in food fads.)

And so I made a magical Skin Unfucking Oil. And it worked. It took the sting out of the horrible red blistered mess of my hands. It fixed so many problems. I felt like a miracle worker, but really it was standard herbalism. I was hooked on this miracle. Then carrying a jar of oil around with me was inconvenient, so I turned it into a handy balm. I posted said balm on social, and suddenly people were interested.

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They only liked it cuz of the Insta-filter

Turns out I’m not the only one living in a state of rage and sorrow because of my idiot skin and/or poor lifestyle choices. There are many of us, with many different needs. Literally everyone needs lip balm sometimes. And moisturiser is Queen of everything. I get way less spots now I actually use some moisturiser, instead of letting my shrivelled skin fend for itself like

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Most of the things I make are for angry skin. Like they say, ‘never trust a skinny chef’, maybe you shouldn’t trust a genetically blessed beauty queen celeb type with a perfect clean-eating lifestyle to make your skincare. These people would look great even if they washed their face in chip fat and used Poundland moisturiser. And if they didn’t, they could afford to see their private dermatologist to get it all fixed with some microderm-acidpeel-snailslimejizz facial. (Yes, I Googled ‘semen facial skincare’. I like to learn, ok?)

Because I was so sick of the usual stuff, I started Pippa Porcupine’s Damn Fine Natural Skincare Co. I love and have faith in the power of plants and natural non-poisonous stuff, having been kind of pagan for… more than ten years? This is still a journey to me, and a fun one at that.

I can’t promise to fix all your skin troubles. Skin is complicated, environment and health and diet and stress and all kind of stuff factor into it, so anyone who claims to have The Cure is a fucking liar. I sell no snake oil, just actual good plant oils and essential oils, mixed up and blended with a pure intent.

And I promise that none of my products will ever, ever contain semen, snail slime, or petroleum. Or poison. Or any pointless added colour, fragrance, preservative, etc. Everything is there for a reason, and that reason has to be better than just smelling pretty.

Smelling good is just a natural side-effect of using damn fine natural ingredients. So, really, you should buy my shit. Your skin might thank you. Or it might not, because skin is not only the largest organ of the human body, it’s also the pissiest, weakest and most temperamental one. So maybe it deserves a bit more love and support.

love,

Pippa Porcupine.

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